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Shelly Ward is a trailblazer. As one of only a few female airplane pilots with the U.S. Justice Department¡¯s Drug Enforcement Administration, she conducts aerial surveillance that helps dismantle drug trafficking rings and brings criminals to justice.

¡°My job is never dull,¡± she says. ¡°I¡¯ve got to be on my game at all times. I can¡¯t afford to become rattled.¡±

But when Shelly¡¯s husband, Kerrick, received a rare pancreatic cancer diagnosis last month after overcoming non-Hodgkin lymphoma four years ago, she began to feel overwhelmed.

¡°We law enforcement types keep a stiff upper lip. We¡¯re not used to asking for help,¡± she says, ¡°but I knew I needed to talk with someone.¡±

Contrary to her nature, Shelly signed up for a virtual support group for caregivers of cancer patients. Facilitated by MD Anderson¡¯s social work counselors, the group began meeting online during the coronavirus pandemic, as MD Anderson took steps to protect its patients, caregivers and workforce members from COVID-19.

¡°The pandemic presented an opportunity to transition our support groups from an in-person to a virtual format,¡± says Teresa Van Oort, clinical program manager for Social Work. ¡°MD Anderson¡¯s is leading the way by offering one of the broadest support group selections in the country right now.¡±

Members log onto their computers twice a week to join virtual sessions led by a social work counselor. Together, they discuss the emotions involved in caring for someone with cancer, including fear, sadness, financial stress, physical exhaustion and guilt.

¡°All the members in the group are on the same journey ¨C they understand,¡± says Van Oort.

Initial cancer diagnosis: Burkitt lymphoma

Shelly, for one, knows how difficult that journey can be.

In 2013, her husband was an energetic and seemingly healthy, 6-foot, 4-inch policeman when he was diagnosed with Burkitt lymphoma, a rare and aggressive type of non-Hodgkin lymphoma.

For six months, doctors at a hospital near their Seattle home pumped powerful chemotherapy drugs into his bloodstream.

¡°They said they were following a protocol pioneered at MD Anderson in Houston,¡± Shelly recalls.

The treatment worked. A PET scan conducted after chemotherapy ended showed no signs of cancer in Kerrick¡¯s body.

For two years, he continued undergoing scans to check for recurrence. If the disease came back during that time, it would likely be fatal, doctors said.

¡°How¡¯s that for living on pins and needles?¡± Shelly asks. ¡°For two years!¡±

Finally, in 2016, Kerrick was declared cancer-free. Jubilation and relief reigned in the Ward household.

¡°Now we could get out from under this dark cloud and start living again,¡± Shelly says.

The couple moved to Houston when Shelly was offered a job transfer.

¡°The doctors in Washington spoke so highly of MD Anderson, so when we had the opportunity to move here, we went for it,¡± Shelly says. ¡°If Kerrick¡¯s cancer ever came back, this is where we wanted to be.¡±

Their decision seemed almost prophetic when Kerrick was diagnosed with cancer again in early April.

A second rare cancer diagnosis

This time, Kerrick was found to have an aggressive type of cancer called small cell carcinoma that typically starts in the lungs. But Kerrick¡¯s cancer started in the pancreas, then wrapped itself around his bile duct.

¡°Less than one person in one million receives this diagnosis each year in the United States, so there¡¯s very little data about treatment options,¡± says ¡°Fortunately for Kerrick, as of now, there¡¯s no visible sign that the cancer has spread to other parts of his body.¡±

Kerrick is undergoing three rounds of chemotherapy. After that, his medical team will decide what¡¯s next.

¡°We don¡¯t know if the chemotherapy will work, but we have to try,¡± Shelly says. ¡°My husband is very sick right now. He¡¯s struggling.¡±

Caregiver support group brings self-acceptance

Shelly, too, is struggling.

The ¡°high¡± of her husband¡¯s initial remission, followed by the ¡°low¡± of his second diagnosis, has left her feeling emotionally drained and exhausted.

¡°I¡¯m not one to break down,¡± she says, ¡°but I completely fell to pieces when I learned he had cancer again.¡±

After years of remaining stoic, Shelly¡¯s glad she finally joined a support group.

¡°I was uncomfortable at first,¡± she recalls. ¡°I didn¡¯t want the focus to be on me.¡±

During her first meeting, the social work counselor asked probing questions, including, ¡°What are you most afraid of?¡±

Shelly responded tearfully: ¡°I¡¯m so afraid of losing my husband, my best buddy for 30 years.¡±

Answering the question was extremely difficult, she says, but also therapeutic.  

¡°I just needed to verbalize what was deep inside. Saying it and facing it head-on helped me turn a corner.¡±

The support group has also helped Shelly realize the magnitude of her responsibilities as a full-time employee with a demanding job, a caretaker of an ill spouse, and a mother of a 17-year-old son who¡¯s preparing for college.

¡°My social work counselor asked me how I¡¯d view someone else who did all that,¡± Shelly recalls. ¡°I answered, ¡®I¡¯d say she¡¯s Superwoman!¡¯ Then I realized, ¡®Hey, that¡¯s me.¡¯¡±

Seeing herself in this new light has helped Shelly be less self-critical and more accepting of the fact that she¡¯s doing a good job.

Gratitude for online support group format

Juggling multiple roles leaves little time for Shelly. The support group is her ¡°me¡± time.

She now looks forward to the meetings that once made her uncomfortable. And she¡¯s grateful they¡¯re available online.

¡°There¡¯s no other way I¡¯d have time to participate,¡± she says. ¡°At some point I hope to meet everybody in person, but that¡¯ll be down the line.¡±