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Angelina was Shamsha Damani¡¯s best friend for three years. A constant in the MD Anderson program director¡¯s daily life, well-known to her large family and even some of her co-workers, Angelina wasn¡¯t someone Damani met in school, a mentor at work or a beloved pet.

Angelina was her wig.

A new look

Just after starting her job at MD Anderson¡¯s Lyda Hill Cancer Prevention Center, Damani noticed that her hair was falling out at a rapid pace. She didn¡¯t worry initially. She¡¯d had autoimmune issues in the past, and it had always grown back.

This time was different. Within a month, she¡¯d lost all of her hair on her head, even her eyebrows and eyelashes, due to an autoimmune disorder called alopecia.

¡°I didn¡¯t recognize myself in the mirror, and it was really rough at first,¡± she says. ¡°Whenever I looked at family photos, it was painful because I knew I¡¯d never look like that again.¡±

There is currently no treatment or cure for alopecia, but her family¡¯s support kept her moving forward and discovering how to live with her new condition. Her sister found the wig makers who created Angelina (named after actress Angelina Jolie); her son was the voice of positivity throughout everything.

¡°When I was upset about how I looked different from before my alopecia, he told me, ¡®Mom, pretend you were born this way, and let¡¯s make new memories for our photos,¡¯ which was great advice, especially given he was 7 at the time,¡± she recalls.

Wanting to make a difference

When she was younger, Damani wanted to help find the cure for terrible diseases like cancer. So after earning a degree in biology, she was excited to start work in a research lab at the Baylor College of Medicine.

¡°I walked in my first day and had a terrible reaction,¡± she remembers. ¡°I¡¯m apparently very allergic to mouse dander, and since I was hired specifically to work with the mice, the lab had to rearrange to get me into a research role that didn¡¯t involve them.¡±

She stayed in research for a few years before deciding she wasn¡¯t interested in becoming a scientist. Her knowledge of medicine and diseases was put to use in her next role here, as a librarian in our Learning Center and then in our . In every position, she liked how her work allowed her to make a difference to our patients.

After some changes at home, Damani decided to make a change at work as well, and went back to school full-time, earning her MBA from Rice University. Upon graduating, she wanted to try something new, so she set about trying to make a difference through a recycling and sustainability program.

¡°I had great experiences there, but it just wasn¡¯t like working at MD Anderson,¡± she says. ¡°I got back here as fast as I could.¡±

Inspired by our cancer patients

Still, Damani was growing self-conscious at work. She wore Angelina every day and was taking great care with her appearance, but she suspected she wasn¡¯t fooling anyone.

¡°Can you tell I¡¯m wearing a wig?¡± she thought. ¡°Everyone can tell I¡¯m wearing a wig!¡±

But coming to work at MD Anderson day after day helped put things into perspective for Damani.

¡°Our patients are such an inspiration to me,¡± she says. ¡°Compared to what they have to go through for treatments, simply having a bald head is nothing.¡±

Damani decided to come clean to her co-workers last year. She wrote an email warning her colleagues that she¡¯d look different the next Monday and was stunned at the outpouring of support she received when she showed up without her wig. She hasn¡¯t worn Angelina to work since.

¡°Everyone was so incredibly kind to me,¡± she says. ¡°It¡¯s really opened up my relationships with my colleagues and created an environment where we can support each other even better.¡±

Feeling herself again

Coming to work without her wig has let Damani get more comfortable with her true self: She¡¯s not hiding behind Angelina.

The only drawback? ¡°Sometimes my head gets cold in conference rooms!¡± she says.

But she¡¯s found she connects better with others through her alopecia. A bald head can be a conversation starter, and she¡¯s learned that by making herself vulnerable, others feel more able to do the same.

¡°Everyone has scars they carry with them from their life, but some are more visible than others,¡± she says. ¡°Mine¡¯s obvious, and I use it as a way to help people when they want to talk but don¡¯t know how.¡±

A longer version of this story originally appeared in Messenger, MD Anderson¡¯s quarterly publication for employees, volunteers, retirees and their families.

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