Â鶹ӳ»­

I recently completed radiation therapy, but I¡¯m still waiting to find out if it was successful in destroying a tumor that spread to my lung nearly five years after my initial Ewing¡¯s sarcoma treatment.

As I wait for my follow-up appointment in August, I¡¯m trying to ignore the what-ifs. I¡¯m 37 years old and a mother of five. That alone helps keep me distracted. But I¡¯m also approaching this summer with a plan.

My first Ewing¡¯s sarcoma diagnosis

First, let me back up to my initial diagnosis in July 2011. After months of living with pain in my left leg, I went to my doctor¡¯s office begging for an answer. Eventually, an MRI showed a type of cancer called Ewing¡¯s sarcoma in my fibula, or calf bone.

At the time, my youngest child was just learning how to walk and my oldest was only 11. I was willing to do anything to get through it. When I asked my local oncologist in Amarillo, Texas what he recommended, he told me that if I were his loved one, he¡¯d send me to MD Anderson for a second opinion. So I left my kids with their father (my husband at the time) and came to Houston. Leaving my family was the hardest decision I¡¯ve ever made, but I knew that it would give me the best chance for survival.

Under care, I started a high-dose chemotherapy and remained on it for five months. Then, in January 2012, performed a radical resection, where she removed the top third of my left fibula during a six-hour surgery. To make sure all of the cancer was gone, I then underwent four months of chemotherapy at MD Anderson in Sugar Land, which was much closer to where I was staying.

Getting over my fear of a recurrence

By the time it was over, I¡¯d spent nearly a year in Houston. I was away from my kids and family for most of it, but I knew I needed to heal -- physically, spiritually and emotionally.

The emotional healing took the longest. I spent my first two years of remission afraid that I would relapse. I was so focused on my fear that I couldn¡¯t be happy, and I started to become a different person.

Eventually, I gained enough confidence to live normally again. I enrolled in college and studied to become a nuclear medicine technologist.

I returned to MD Anderson annually to get my scans, and everything was great -- until February 2017. During my yearly checkup, a PET scan showed a tumor the size of a lemon in my lung, right next to my heart. A biopsy confirmed it was the same cancer that had been in my leg.

My Ewing¡¯s sarcoma relapse

I couldn¡¯t believe that I had to go through it all again. I was only four months from graduating, and this time, I was a single mother, so driving 1,200 miles to Houston for chemotherapy every three weeks was my only option.

Still, I¡¯ve refused to let cancer dictate my happiness. My first diagnosis had shown me that giving into the darkness offers no benefit, so there¡¯s no reason to let my new diagnosis eat away at the time with which I¡¯ve been blessed.

That¡¯s why in the midst of my chemotherapy treatments, I re-enrolled in college, opting for online courses to make it more manageable. I also started seeing a counselor to help me manage my stress, and I receive acupuncture and massages at MD Anderson¡¯s Integrative Medicine Center to cope with anxiety.

In April, I found out my cancer wasn¡¯t responding to the newest chemotherapy cocktail, so I completed two weeks of radiation therapy in May.

As I wait for August, I continue to make every moment count. I¡¯m planning a vacation with my children, and I¡¯m focusing on being the best person and mom I can.

or by calling 1-877-632-6789.